Dear Sam,

It's 4:35am and I'm sitting looking out the window at New York City. Earlier, I drank whiskey and wine and ate candy with Liz while dancing to David Bowie with the lights off in this empty office. I met Bradley to go see Peggy Ahwesh's films at Soho House. Neither Day, Nor Night is a 25 minute video piece that cuts through the abysmal exteriors and interiors of Palestine while a voiceover of "Vampires: an Uneasy Essay on the Undead in Film" plays. Many of the shots were from inside a doorway, through a hall, from across the hill  – physically inside the world yet distanced from the reality. Sitting in the plush seats of Soho House with predominantly white artists, the distance felt even wider and more uncomfortable. The camera encroaches just beyond reach, finding a way closer and closer to that sweet unease of foreign occupation. There's one scene which I particularly loved inside a shabby waiting area where the camera swoops just above the ground, as if being carried inside a handbag. There are various groups of men sitting on dirty couches talking to one another. 

Peggy, Bradley, a few other filmmakers, and I went to grab a bite. Friday night in Chelsea is terrible. I had fish tacos. Everyone else had burgers. They talked about their friend Joe Gibbons who got arrested while robbing a bank for his film. He had done it before and had gotten away. He carries a camcorder and takes somewhere between 1-3 grand each time. His bail is set at $50,000. Bradley told me Joe thought it would be okay because it was for art. I told Bradley that Joe, especially for being an artist, has a strangely optimistic view of society. Joe admitted a long time ago that because he doesn't have the particular personal issues that make interesting art, he creates problems for his art's sake. He initiated a drug addiction and made a film about it, for example. 

What would be your most consuming form of art? I was thinking, for me, it would be to physically alter myself over and over again, through facial reconstruction and physical alterations. I would document myself doing various normal things, like doing the dishes, walking the dog, shopping, having sex with the same man. Has someone already done this? You would know. 

My echinacea tea just started tasting like roses. Everything should taste like roses. 

Now we listen:

With no intent to sleep tonight,

Soojin